Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Moment of clarity

Its been a while as I've been having a lot of trouble thinking of something to write about. I kept hoping for something positive to come up or for something to strike me as funny that I could comment on... I've got squat. I'm sure things have come up, my brain just hasn't retained any of it. I seem to have lost the ability to make any sort of decisions for myself as well. Unless someone says, Do this, I just sit on the couch and watch TV, I'm absolutely pathetic and I've gained 10 pounds in 3 weeks (apparently the one thing I can decide is that I'm hungry, all the time). It twill get better I know, so for now I'm just hanging in there and hanging very tightly onto my tub o'ice cream.

I believe I have figured out the key to happiness. Odd timing in my life for this particular revelation, I know, and a little random, but stay with me. I don't think happiness is a life without sadness. Somewhere I picked up this ideal that life can be the bowl of cherries, if I only accomplish a little more, get one more project done, earn one more dollar, help one more person, figure out one more of life's lessons, then I will get it. I will have figured out how to live my life stress free, how to truly be happy and live in the moment. But its not realistically sustainable. Sadness happens. It devastates the stress free, living in the moment life. It seems to me, to truly find happiness is to experience the lows (sadly its where the lessons are learned), lean on those you love (its where the relationships are made), and enjoy the happiness in between (the living in the stress free moment). I heard it put this way the other day, when your heart is broken it only grows back bigger*. And you have to go through that, through those trying experiences in life, the ones that test your resolve to the core, in order to be able to love bigger and appreciate the beauty and tranquility. Happiness is accepting the sorrow, the alternative is constantly being disapointed in the ying yang balance. Happiness is learning to live stress free, in the moment, knowing that the happiness you experience today will be offset by tragedy tomorrow in the karmic circle of life. But knowing that you will come out the other side to happiness again.

Then again, I think happiness is different for everyone, so sleep well even if this makes absolutely no sense to you, its the mindless rant of a couch potato.

*I figured out where I heard this before, and I must attribute this particular theory to John Cusack, the one and only, courteosy of Must Love Dogs. :)

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